The Red & Black Forums | An AC Milan Community The Red & Black Forums | An AC Milan Community The Red & Black Forums | An AC Milan Community

Go Back   The Red & Black Forums > Other > Off Topic

Off Topic You can talk here about everything that doesn't fit in the rest of the forums (movies, music, games etc.)



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-03-2004, 11:43   #1
Shirley
Primavera Player
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Shanghai,China
Fav. Players: Pippo Inzaghi, Sheva, Bobo Vieri, Ryan Giggs, Robert Pires
Default

His jokes have been world-famous.

I just read some in Chinese and was impressed by them.

So I'd like to know whether there is the collection in English.

(If in Italian, then I have to give up as I have no idea of Italian at all.)


Signature
By the moon and the stars in the sky, I swear,
I love you with every beat of my heart!
You are my super star, SuperPippo!!!!
Shirley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2004, 12:13   #2
Passion for *9*
AC Milan Icon
 
Passion for *9*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Default

As far as I know the book is not available in an English version.


Signature

▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ perfection ▪ ▪
Passion for *9* is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2004, 12:20   #3
Shirley
Primavera Player
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Shanghai,China
Fav. Players: Pippo Inzaghi, Sheva, Bobo Vieri, Ryan Giggs, Robert Pires
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Passion for *9*
As far as I know the book is not available in an English version.
What a pity.

Danke.


Signature
By the moon and the stars in the sky, I swear,
I love you with every beat of my heart!
You are my super star, SuperPippo!!!!
Shirley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2004, 12:28   #4
Boban
World Cup Winner
 
Boban's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Fav. Players: Kaka, Sheva, Nesta
Default

never knew about that


Signature
Boban is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2004, 15:18   #5
unrossonero
vsa minga!
 
unrossonero's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Milano
Default

shirley, they are not actually meant to ... impress ... really!

i guess they are only in italian, also because many of them wouldn't make sense when translated ... already he makes little sense in italian, let alone translated


Signature
con il milan nel cuore



El st mej un ratt in buca al gatt che un puart in di man d'un aucatt

Chi vsa pus la vaca l' sua
unrossonero is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2004, 15:33   #6
Passion for *9*
AC Milan Icon
 
Passion for *9*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Default

Eh, don't be so harsh with Roma's golden boy, he's only expected to make sense *on* the pitch


Signature

▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ ▪ perfection ▪ ▪
Passion for *9* is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2004, 15:34   #7
unrossonero
vsa minga!
 
unrossonero's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Milano
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Passion for *9*
Eh, don't be so harsh with Roma's golden boy, he's only expected to make sense *on* the pitch
tut-tut ... only one golden boy in the history of football ... besides, we were talking about literature, i think


Signature
con il milan nel cuore



El st mej un ratt in buca al gatt che un puart in di man d'un aucatt

Chi vsa pus la vaca l' sua
unrossonero is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-03-2004, 01:47   #8
Seamus
AC Milan Legend
 
Seamus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: SF - CA - USA
Fav. Players: Anyone playing for AC Milan
Default

The best one I have heard so far is that early in the season Totti got a driving ticket and had to go to court.

When he got there the judge asked him, "What is your defence?"

Totti replied: "Well right now it's Zebina, Samuel, & Chivu in front of Pelizzoli."



The thing that make me laugh most about Totti is the way he flops all over the field. He dives enough to qualify for the Italian Olympic swimming team.


Signature
Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none.
- Benjamin Franklin -

A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.
- Benjamin Franklin -
Seamus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-03-2004, 05:04   #9
Shirley
Primavera Player
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Shanghai,China
Fav. Players: Pippo Inzaghi, Sheva, Bobo Vieri, Ryan Giggs, Robert Pires
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Seamus
The best one I have heard so far is that early in the season Totti got a driving ticket and had to go to court.

When he got there the judge asked him, "What is your defence?"

Totti replied: "Well right now it's Zebina, Samuel, & Chivu in front of Pelizzoli."



The thing that make me laugh most about Totti is the way he flops all over the field. He dives enough to qualify for the Italian Olympic swimming team.
I really enjoy this joke.

Although I have read a lot of his jokes in Chinese, it's difficult to translate them into English to preserve their original meaning.

If someone doesn't know the English word DEFENCE has different meanings, he won't think the joke laughable.


Signature
By the moon and the stars in the sky, I swear,
I love you with every beat of my heart!
You are my super star, SuperPippo!!!!
Shirley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-03-2004, 08:06   #10
Cescania
World Cup Winner
 
Cescania's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Hong Kong
Fav. Players: Maldini
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shirley
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seamus
The best one I have heard so far is that early in the season Totti got a driving ticket and had to go to court.

When he got there the judge asked him, "What is your defence?"

Totti replied: "Well right now it's Zebina, Samuel, & Chivu in front of Pelizzoli."



The thing that make me laugh most about Totti is the way he flops all over the field. He dives enough to qualify for the Italian Olympic swimming team.
I really enjoy this joke.

Although I have read a lot of his jokes in Chinese, it's difficult to translate them into English to preserve their original meaning.

If someone doesn't know the English word DEFENCE has different meanings, he won't think the joke laughable.

A chinese one? Where did you get that? I really want to take a look!


Signature
FORZA FORZA FORZA

A boy born to be a legend
Cescania is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-03-2004, 21:44   #11
K-J
World Cup Winner
 
K-J's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Fav. Players: Tom Rosick
Default

Seamus got more?

Hella fun


Signature

K-J is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21-03-2004, 08:24   #12
jarjarlovepippo
Primavera Player
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cescania
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shirley
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seamus
The best one I have heard so far is that early in the season Totti got a driving ticket and had to go to court.

When he got there the judge asked him, "What is your defence?"

Totti replied: "Well right now it's Zebina, Samuel, & Chivu in front of Pelizzoli."



The thing that make me laugh most about Totti is the way he flops all over the field. He dives enough to qualify for the Italian Olympic swimming team.
I really enjoy this joke.

Although I have read a lot of his jokes in Chinese, it's difficult to translate them into English to preserve their original meaning.

If someone doesn't know the English word DEFENCE has different meanings, he won't think the joke laughable.

A chinese one? Where did you get that? I really want to take a look!
soccer weekly once got some,,, i heard they have published the chinese edition of that book,but i never see it in any bookshop...

in pippo fans union , there is a thread of some jokes in chinese
http://pippoinzaghi.w104.leoboard.co...078&show=0

btw, u shd first be a member,then u can view it


Signature
it's just a game not my life
jarjarlovepippo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21-03-2004, 13:19   #13
Velez Mostar
AC Milan Legend
 
Velez Mostar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Mostar, BiH
Fav. Players: -Sergej Barbarez&Meho Kodro-
Default

Hahaha, nice Seamus!


Signature
-------- Mostar u srcu, Velez do groba! --------
Neretva kroz vene tece, Velez nam je oka sjaj!
-----Rodjeni, Rodjeni, kraj Neretve rodjeni!-----
Velez Mostar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21-03-2004, 19:33   #14
Demetria
Primavera Player
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Fav. Players: Baggio,Maldini,Albertini
Default

Some of the jokes are funny,I thought I'd share it hereThe jokes are in bold..in between the article of him from BBC.com

If there were a David Beckham of Italian football it would be captain of AS Roma, Francesco Totti.

Totti's book is the surprise hit of the summer
On the pitch he is the highly respected golden boy of Rome. But off the pitch, it is a different story.

Despite his huge success the 26-year-old is incredibly shy, and is not considered particularly intelligent. The various mistakes he has made during interviews have spawned a wealth of jokes at his expense.

One of the most famous examples is when a journalist told him "Carpe Diem" to which Totti replied: "I'm sorry, I don't speak English."

A tragic story in the newspaper: Totti's library has burnt down. It contained two books. Totti is inconsolable. 'No! I hadn't finished colouring the second one in yet!'


This is now one of the most popular jokes in a book called All the Totti Jokes, which Francesco Totti himself helped put together at the suggestion of his friends.

It went on sale on 16 June and has become the surprise hit of the summer, selling 430,000 copies so far.

It is already onto its ninth print run, surpassing all the expectations of the publishers, and seems to have become a permanent fixture at the top of the bestseller list in Italy.

The three hardest years for Totti? Class one in elementary school

Totti's only stipulations in approving the book were that the jokes reflected badly on him rather than his family, and that all the money raised by the book went to a project helping the elderly in Rome and to a Unicef project helping homeless children in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

Last year, Totti became a goodwill ambassador for Unicef. Donata Lodi, head of external relations for Unicef, says they are thrilled with the response to the book.

Totti tries to finish a jigsaw puzzle. It takes him almost four months, then he turns the box over and reads: 'From 2 to 3 years'. He says: 'Ah, so now I'm a genius!'

"No-one expected Totti to react in such a way to all these jokes," he said. "Everyone had a perception that Totti was having a very negative reaction to these jokes and the fact that he collected them on his own was extremely well received.

"It was a surprise in a sense for the public, it gives them a different perspective of him as an individual."

'Something special'

So what did people shopping at one of AS Roma's official merchandise stores think of Totti and his jokebook?

"Totti is a champion. I think people envy him," said Rome law student Gabriele. "With this book he's making fun of himself, so I think that he should be proud of himself."

Totti goes on holiday. On his return Cafu asks him: 'Where have you been?' Totti: 'I went water skiing'. Cafu: 'Did you have a good time?' Totti: 'Not at all... I didn't manage to find a lake that went downhill'

Totti is so well known around Rome that almost everyone has a story to tell about a time they met him.

One businessman buying his season ticket said he once met the footballer in a restaurant. "He really is something special because he seems like a silly person," he said, "but I think he is actually a good person and he does many things for others."

Most of the jokes revolve around Totti's strong Roman accent, but many also pick on his perceived lack of intelligence, such as this joke about the build-up to the war against Iraq:

A journalist asks Totti: "Francesco, your prediction over a possible encounter between America and Iraq."


Totti replies, "Well, I'd say they're two beautiful nations... well-prepared, but as everyone knows, only one can qualify for the World Cup."


Giancarlo Palese, who manages one of Rome's leading bookshops, is surprised at the book's success, but says Totti is constantly in the public eye.

"The media, the television talk about this book every day and everyone is interested in the life of the football player," he said. "He makes a lot of mistakes when he speaks and it's important that this boy laughs about himself."

Totti's girlfriend sees that Francesco is getting wet on the terrace and calls out to him: 'France, come inside, it's raining.' Totti: 'But it's raining out here as well'

Despite the jokes, it would be hard to find anyone more loved in Rome than Totti. It is the place he was born and bred and he is considered a key part of the community here.

As well as proving he doesn't take himself too seriously, this book has only made him more popular. So now who's having the last laugh?
Demetria is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21-03-2004, 19:40   #15
Demetria
Primavera Player
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Fav. Players: Baggio,Maldini,Albertini
Default

This is from the 'Tutte le Barzellette su Francesco Totti' book too


Gennaro Gattuso,Cristian Vieri and Francesco Totti go into a shop and discover a magic mirror. Legend has it that if you look into the mirror and tell a lie then the person mysteriously disappear.

So Gattuso steps up and says : "I think I am the most itelligent man in Italy"As soon as he says this,PHUF! He disappears.

Vieri steps up and say : "I think I am the most attractive man in Italy". Once again,PHUF! He disappears.

Finally Totti steps up to the mirror and ssys : I think...." PHUF!


hahahhahahhaa......this is the best one I think *rotflol*
Demetria is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22-03-2004, 05:24   #16
Melbourne
Banned
 
Melbourne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Fav. Players: (teams); Milan, Barca, Man Utd, South Melbourne
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Demetria
This is from the 'Tutte le Barzellette su Francesco Totti' book too


Gennaro Gattuso,Cristian Vieri and Francesco Totti go into a shop and discover a magic mirror. Legend has it that if you look into the mirror and tell a lie then the person mysteriously disappear.

So Gattuso steps up and says : "I think I am the most itelligent man in Italy"As soon as he says this,PHUF! He disappears.

Vieri steps up and say : "I think I am the most attractive man in Italy". Once again,PHUF! He disappears.

Finally Totti steps up to the mirror and ssys : I think...." PHUF!


hahahhahahhaa......this is the best one I think *rotflol*
Very good
Melbourne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22-03-2004, 11:21   #17
Shirley
Primavera Player
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Shanghai,China
Fav. Players: Pippo Inzaghi, Sheva, Bobo Vieri, Ryan Giggs, Robert Pires
Default

Totti tries to finish a jigsaw puzzle. It takes him almost four months, then he turns the box over and reads: 'From 2 to 3 years'. He says: 'Ah, so now I'm a genius!'


OMG, I couldn't stop laughing.


Signature
By the moon and the stars in the sky, I swear,
I love you with every beat of my heart!
You are my super star, SuperPippo!!!!
Shirley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-01-2006, 19:31   #18
Rasha
Senior Team Member
 
Rasha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Brasil Curitiba
Fav. Players: Paolo Maldini, Kaka,Gila,Inzaghi and Nesta...
Default

Cool Joks Tell us more pleaseeee
Rasha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-01-2006, 19:36   #19
Roksana
World Cup Winner
 
Roksana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Norway
Fav. Players: Maldini, Pirlo, C.Ronaldo, F.Totti, Del Piero, Nesta, Heinze, Roy Keane...etc
Default

A collection of jokes about Totti? Sounds stupid...
Roksana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-01-2006, 00:35   #20
cuore
Banned
 
cuore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: montral
Fav. Players: Capitano
Default

Are they written by totti? Or he just put them together? Also, Are the ones about America and Iraq and the Carpe diem one true? It sound slike soemthign he might say.
cuore is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply



Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 18:57.





Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
2002-2011 The Red & Black Forums. These are fan forums and are in no way affiliated with AC Milan S.p.A.