The Rumour Commode XXIV: The Reality Era Continues

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truant

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Scenes at half-time in a locker room somewhere in Verona:

“Have I made a mistake?” the words echoed in his head.

“Siiii!!!” his own voice seemed to reply. He shook his head, Suavecito pomade keeping his each of his perfect individual strands of hair in it's perfect place. He never made mistakes. He was always, for lack of a better word, perfect.

The annoying Brazilians were trying to get his attention, chattering in Portuguese, banging on their samba drums. He ignored them and reached to strip off his shirt to reveal his pristine torso, forgetting that he had already taken off the ugly carbon-coloured jersey on the field at half-time so that the peasants could catch a glimpse of yes, perfection.

Ah, perfection, he repeated softly in his head as he glanced in the mirror placed in the locker room specifically as per his instructions. It was in his contract. He preened at his reflection and flexed his muscles blanking out the drone of the gaffer yelling “dai, dai, dai” like an drowning oriental trader negotiating his last sale before his boat capsizes.

But those ugly carbon-coloured shorts. Even that weird pink jersey of his previous team was prettier. Pretty in pink. No, perfect in pink. That's what he was. But what if even he couldn't make the ugly carbon colour work? And the first colours reminded him of the Hamburgler from that fast food place the fat people like to go to. He laughed as he thought of the fat people and the Hamburgler. But these were his colours now. He frowned again and flexed to get rid of the bad thoughts.

No, he was Alpha with a capital "A" and he'd teach all these beta cucks how to win. Even that beta cuck who couldn't wait to come back after leaving last season just because an Alpha, no, The Alpha had joined the team.

But what if this was the beginning of a downward spiral? He could not shake this thought off that easily. He flexed again and again, muscles taut, every sinew straining to squeeze the bad thought out as if it was a stubbornly hard piece of fecal nugget blocking the path of some nasty curry one may have had the previous night. Except he never had curry. Only salad and steamed chicken breast. His bowels were always perfect. Perfect.

“Dai, dai, dai” yelled the allenatore, going blue in the face.

“SIIII!!!” he yelled back, startling the team and his gaffer into silence. This wretched place would not be his downfall he vowed, even though he could not quell the doubt which was rooting in his psyche.
 
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Massaro94

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scenes at half-time in a locker room somewhere in Verona:

“Have I made a mistake?” the words echoed in his head.

“Siiii!!!” his own voice seemed to reply. He shook his head, Suavecito pomade keeping his each of his perfect individual strands of hair in it's perfect place. He never made mistakes. He was always, for lack of a better word, perfect.

The annoying Brazilians were trying to get his attention, chattering in Portuguese, banging on their samba drums. He ignored them and reached to strip off his shirt to reveal his pristine torso, forgetting that he had already taken off the ugly green jersey on the field at half-time so that the peasants could catch a glimpse of yes, perfection.

Ah, perfection, he repeated softly in his head as he glanced in the mirror placed in the locker room specifically as per his instructions. It was in his contract. He preened at his reflection and flexed his muscles blanking out the drone of the gaffer yelling “dai, dai, dai” like an drowning oriental trader negotiating his last sale before his boat capsizes.

But those ugly green shorts. They were not like the proud green of Portugal. Even that weird pink jersey of his previous team was prettier. Pretty in pink. No, perfect in pink. That's what he was. But what if even he couldn't make the ugly green work? And the first colours reminded him of the Hamburgler from that fast food place the fat people like to go to. He laughed as he thought of the fat people and the Hamburgler. But these were his colours now. He frowned again and flexed to get rid of the bad thoughts.

No, he was Alpha with a capital "A" and he'd teach all these beta cucks how to win. Even that beta cuck who couldn't wait to come back after leaving last season just because an Alpha, no, The Alpha had joined the team.

But what if this was the beginning of a downward spiral? He could not shake this thought off that easily. He flexed again and again, muscles taut, every sinew straining to squeeze the bad thought out as if it was a stubbornly hard piece of fecal nugget blocking the path of some nasty curry one may have had the previous night. Except he never had curry. Only salad and steamed chicken breast. His bowels were always perfect. Perfect.

“Dai, dai, dai” yelled the allenatore, going blue in the face.

“SIIII!!!” he yelled back, startling the team and his gaffer into silence. This wretched place would not be his downfall he vowed, even though he could not help quell the doubt which was rooting in his psyche.

Bonucci just equalised :fp:
 

truant

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Darn it. Jinxed it. Cristiano will probably score the winner now.
 

Samaldinho

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There is an LCM for Arsenal, Guendouzi, the kid has tremendous talent, can pick out a pass.

Auba has missed sitters.

Morata scored but has returned to being himself.
 

truant

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FFS 2-3. I'll grab me coat.
 

brk

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There is an LCM for Arsenal, Guendouzi, the kid has tremendous talent, can pick out a pass.

Auba has missed sitters.

Morata scored but has returned to being himself.

Second time I see him and I’m also extremely impressed. 19 and plays a deep midfield role and energetic and calm and good one the ball. Very special player.
 

Albertini

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There is an LCM for Arsenal, Guendouzi, the kid has tremendous talent, can pick out a pass.

Auba has missed sitters.

Morata scored but has returned to being himself.

what league do all these players play?
 

Samaldinho

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what league do all these players play?

Premier League.

Brk, this Guendouzi kid is super talented. I honestly think we should offer 25 or 30 this winter if he keeps this up. Some off the passes he's played today are simply incredible.
 

brk

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Premier League.

Brk, this Guendouzi kid is super talented. I honestly think we should offer 25 or 30 this winter if he keeps this up. Some off the passes he's played today are simply incredible.

Not just the passes, he reads the game extremely well. Always there before the danger happens. This is a rare talent at this age. Very very impressed.

Doubt they’d let him go for anything now.
 

brk

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Man Sarri already got Chelsea doing his stupid triangle pass. They’re going to go far I think. Too bad they don’t have a good striker.
 

Rumpelstiltskin

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There is an LCM for Arsenal, Guendouzi, the kid has tremendous talent, can pick out a pass.

Auba has missed sitters.

Morata scored but has returned to being himself.
Seems really talented, but still a bit raw.

In the game against City he made a stupid mistake which almost led to a goal, Aguero missed a one on one iirc.

RnB members will start calling him fodder after a couple of games.
 

Y-Bido92

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Guendouzi has his flaws and it'll show when arsenal comes against liverpool or any fast paced team.
 

brk

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Is it just me or are the transitions with the serie a logo really abrupt and amaterish?
 

Milan10

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The squad is good enough to carry us for the first 17 games. There will always be winter intervention.

I’m not worried a bit, only juventus can be unplayable in Serie A, every other game is within reach.

Under Gattuso we went head to head with everyone. Smaller teams caused us more trouble than the leading Serie A teams, even when we played juventus(in Serie A) we were the better team but they won with their bench.

You highlighted the explanation for our Serie A woes for the greater part of the last decade... The reason we struggle against smaller teams in Serie A is down to the fact that smaller teams park the bus, and Milan has no way of breaking them down because our midfield is woeful at creating chances/scoring goals. Milan has struggled to break small teams down, and we did nothing to address this over the summer.

It's great to do well against Juventus, Inter, Roma, and Napoli, but that is 8 matches out of 38. Without a creative midfield, Milan will struggle once again to finish top 4.
 

necromancer

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Dont know if someone posted this already

"Kenedy failed to complete a single pass in the first half against Cardiff City - he is the first outfield Premier League player to fail to complete a single pass in 45+ minutes of play since Nikola Kalinic against Birmingham City in March 2010"

:lol::lol::lol:

Someone just broke 8 year old Kalinic record :D

:lol::lol: Nikola :proud:
 

necromancer

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Scenes at half-time in a locker room somewhere in Verona:

“Have I made a mistake?” the words echoed in his head.

“Siiii!!!” his own voice seemed to reply. He shook his head, Suavecito pomade keeping his each of his perfect individual strands of hair in it's perfect place. He never made mistakes. He was always, for lack of a better word, perfect.

The annoying Brazilians were trying to get his attention, chattering in Portuguese, banging on their samba drums. He ignored them and reached to strip off his shirt to reveal his pristine torso, forgetting that he had already taken off the ugly carbon-coloured jersey on the field at half-time so that the peasants could catch a glimpse of yes, perfection.

Ah, perfection, he repeated softly in his head as he glanced in the mirror placed in the locker room specifically as per his instructions. It was in his contract. He preened at his reflection and flexed his muscles blanking out the drone of the gaffer yelling “dai, dai, dai” like an drowning oriental trader negotiating his last sale before his boat capsizes.

But those ugly carbon-coloured shorts. Even that weird pink jersey of his previous team was prettier. Pretty in pink. No, perfect in pink. That's what he was. But what if even he couldn't make the ugly green work? And the first colours reminded him of the Hamburgler from that fast food place the fat people like to go to. He laughed as he thought of the fat people and the Hamburgler. But these were his colours now. He frowned again and flexed to get rid of the bad thoughts.

No, he was Alpha with a capital "A" and he'd teach all these beta cucks how to win. Even that beta cuck who couldn't wait to come back after leaving last season just because an Alpha, no, The Alpha had joined the team.

But what if this was the beginning of a downward spiral? He could not shake this thought off that easily. He flexed again and again, muscles taut, every sinew straining to squeeze the bad thought out as if it was a stubbornly hard piece of fecal nugget blocking the path of some nasty curry one may have had the previous night. Except he never had curry. Only salad and steamed chicken breast. His bowels were always perfect. Perfect.

“Dai, dai, dai” yelled the allenatore, going blue in the face.

“SIIII!!!” he yelled back, startling the team and his gaffer into silence. This wretched place would not be his downfall he vowed, even though he could not quell the doubt which was rooting in his psyche.

:star::star: Please keep this up. 1-2 more and we need a separate thread in the Football forum, titled Truant Tales.
 

Panache

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Are we going to play a friendly or something in lieu of this week’s postponed game? I couldn’t care less about Napoli vs Lazio for fuck’s sake.
 

Alec

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Lmao there are still people that underrate Romagnoli, even after a season where he had to carry the cuck boy playing next to him.


juve gonna have serious locker room problems this year, mark my words.

That happens when you bring back a cuck to the team, yes.

How is SMS playing?

Bench
 

Alec

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Secret agent Carlo :heart:
 
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