Yes, my child. We can watch Snow White get ****...sorry, get raised off the ground by the seven Dwarves. We can watch Disney all night. Your parents know about this, so I'll call them up whenever you want to go home.
Just hold on to my beard whenever you feel frightened. Drag my head closer to yours. Don't worry about any thing groping around you. It's me comforting you, my child. Me. And you trust me, right?
The handcuffs and chains? *Laughs nervously* I used to work at the SAS long time ago. You see, we had to interrogate the bad guys so you and Mommy and Daddy would be safe. So that they won't kill anybody. Why they're on the bed? I was just re-arranging my old tools of the trade. Really. My attic is always messy, you know. *laughs nervously*