The Rumour Commode XL: Salat Makers

[rossonero1]

If Milan and Napoli didn’t shit the bed in the Coppa Italia they would’ve played 5 times in April.

 

[Ragamuffin]

Guys, I am about to witness my first UCL win

 

[milanazkals]

3 midfielders is a must in that CL game. Krunic + Tonali + Bennacer needs to play that Napoli game.

 

[Pigeon]

posted by tottenham fan channel

we found the milan twitter admin

 

[A Wild Homosexual]

So remember when i said "The last of us" is a great show but skip the entire episode 3 because its meaningless & just LGBT forced ?
Well also skip episode 7 , like all of it & you wont miss a thing.

 

[ForzaSandro]

I think we'll come through against Napoli. Naturally, Inter got the easier draw.

 

[Nestafan]

I think we'll come through against Napoli. Naturally, Inter got the easier draw.

I do love the opportunity of Knocking Napoli "off their fucking perch"

 

[Curupira]

I think we'll come through against Napoli. Naturally, Inter got the easier draw.

Really? Benfica seems like a tricky side. Inda barely scraped by Porto

 

[ForzaSandro]

Really? Benfica seems like a tricky side. Inda barely scraped by Porto

They'll bully Benfica physically and win. Typical Inter story. Do I want that to happen? No.

 

[Casualista]

They'll bully Benfica physically and win. Typical Inter story. Do I want that to happen? No.

You should want that happen. Milan's chances of beating inter in semis is probably 2x higher than beating Benfica.

Those guys are way better than both inter and Napoli. They dispatched Juve and PSG half asleep in the groups.

 

[Dokoa]

We need Leao to finally focus and deliver. His form will be decisive for the Napoli match.

He will 100%

 

[A Wild Homosexual]

The arrogance is unreal. Napoli fans act like as if they dominated for a decade. It’s just this one fluke season. Do they even have the financial capability of keeping Kvara and Osimhen after this season? If they sell them, they’ll be back to being the Spurs of Italy once again.

Do we ?
Wake the fuck up , for real.

 

[Raghav]

We need Leao to finally focus and deliver. His form will be decisive for the Napoli match.

Coz he’s actually got good understanding of the game and good finishing .. it’s just that he wasn’t focusing .. he can just turn it on in a second..

We need him to play for the team and use his limited (but wc) strengths well like physicality pace and dribbling. If he tries to be the hero and take long shots which he sucks at we’re fucked. (would like to know shots taken vs scored % I know it’s gonna be ridiculously bad)

Even though I shit on leao all the time I know he’s still our most important weapon coz no one else in our squad has certain abilities he has. We need him to wanna run into space for his team , take on his man as much as possible and look to provide assists or hockey assists..

 

[Swagotelli]

I guess Zlatan is gonna have to watch #8 from the stands like Ronaldo did for #7

 

[SecondStar]

Coz he’s actually got good understanding of the game and good finishing .. it’s just that he wasn’t focusing .. he can just turn it on in a second..

We need him to play for the team and use his limited (but wc) strengths well like physicality pace and dribbling. If he tries to be the hero and take long shots which he sucks at we’re fucked. (would like to know shots taken vs scored % I know it’s gonna be ridiculously bad)

Even though I shit on leao all the time I know he’s still our most important weapon coz no one else in our squad has certain abilities he has. We need him to wanna run into space for his team , take on his man as much as possible and look to provide assists or hockey assists..

He needs to stop fucking cutting in. It’s not his strong suit and he’s been forcing it this entire season. Powerful step over to beat his man and a driven low cross into the box is his time-tested formula. He needs to go back to that. Tired of this cutting inside and shooting into the stands nonsense.

He can cut inside near the by-line after he’s beaten his man and race into the side of the box, I’m fine with that, but no cutting inside at the top of the box and shooting. It’s beyond ineffective since his shooting is even worse than Kessie’s.

Kessie at least scored that screamer against Parma after a million attempts. Leao hit the post after a million attempts. Kessie 1-0 Leao

 

[Ash-ish]

This is the best draw we can get. If pioli can stop drinking we have Bela Guttman and Carlo Ancelotti at Istanbul waiting to assist us.

Rotate the squad pioli like Carlo did in 2007 when fat Ronaldo who was rejected by Real Madrid helped us to carry the load in the league.

Regarding tactics it’s too late to change. Leao is our best talent and he is a Mustang so let him free either he kills us or take us to promise land. All three midfielders need to play otherwise get Abate in.

 

[IL-Capitano]

Coz he’s actually got good understanding of the game and good finishing .. it’s just that he wasn’t focusing .. he can just turn it on in a second..

We need him to play for the team and use his limited (but wc) strengths well like physicality pace and dribbling. If he tries to be the hero and take long shots which he sucks at we’re fucked. (would like to know shots taken vs scored % I know it’s gonna be ridiculously bad)

Even though I shit on leao all the time I know he’s still our most important weapon coz no one else in our squad has certain abilities he has. We need him to wanna run into space for his team , take on his man as much as possible and look to provide assists or hockey assists..

He needs to stop fucking cutting in. It’s not his strong suit and he’s been forcing it this entire season. Powerful step over to beat his man and a driven low cross into the box is his time-tested formula. He needs to go back to that. Tired of this cutting inside and shooting into the stands nonsense.

He can cut inside near the by-line after he’s beaten his man and race into the side of the box, I’m fine with that, but no cutting inside at the top of the box and shooting. It’s beyond ineffective since his shooting is even worse than Kessie’s.

Kessie at least scored that screamer against Parma after a million attempts. Leao hit the post after a million attempts. Kessie 1-0 Leao

Leao’s ability is not in question he has all the ability in the world. It is his timing to play simply or use trickery at the right time and place, decision making to assist or shoot at the right time and place and finishing that lets him down. If he can master all of these traits there is no stopping him.

The man has it all he just needs to apply the timing and place to use what he has to offer. I suspect this is what @SecondStar means by focus. Correct me if I a wrong.

Early Milan Serginho would be a great reference point for Leao in timing and place to use the appropriate skills and focus.

 

[Neruda2.0]

3 midfielders is a must in that CL game. Krunic + Tonali + Bennacer needs to play that Napoli game.

Theo Tomori Thiaw Kalulu back line plz

 

[Kmoney]

31st April 2023: 4W 3D 9L

I see what you did there

31st April

 

[Kmoney]

If we win cl , gerry is the luckiest man in the world. He Will be the guy who makes milan great again, without spending then winning formula go get a flop with nearly all your money, dont write your cl cursed iconic footballer in cl squad , also messias and salad must be your rw i see 100 m. Offer from city to salad one of our best scorers in cl

If we win CL this year I’m getting a CL tattoo

@rnb please don’t give me the Pioli treatment if I do

 

[Kmoney]

scenes when gerry doesn't invest even after a cl win

Gerry gonna do his research about the club and say “fine as we are”, thinking it’s an endearing gesture

But tbh I don’t believe the nonsense that he doesn’t know that we’ve won 7 CL titles, someone who invested a billion into a club is going to have done their research. It’s media propaganda trying to portray him as a clown

If he gets the stadium through, he’s already done his part as an owner

 

[Kmoney]

3 midfielders is a must in that CL game. Krunic + Tonali + Bennacer needs to play that Napoli game.

You really asking for a Padre tactical innovation for the biggest game of the past decade?

I was thinking about it… the excruciating spell of Giampaolo. The revival after COVID. The crazy race to top 4 culminating with that win at Atalanta. The scudetto last year.

That massive, exhausting, emotion draining journey has all lead to this.

Do you really want Padre rolling out Messias as Mezzala after all that?

 

[Swagotelli]

Damn

Lance Reddick, 'The Wire' and 'John Wick' star, dies at 60

Lance Reddick, a character actor who specialized in intense, icy and possibly sinister authority figures on TV and film, including “The Wire,” "Fringe” and the “John Wick” franchise, has died.

apnews.com

 

[King George]

We winning against Napoli in CL. I'm more worried about playing teams like spezia/salernitana.

 

[Congo Powers]

Hit the ncaabb +2000 upset…I’m hot
Charles is scoring the +330 guaranteed

 

[Jivara]

Assuming Benfica win against Inter?

Not assuming, in case they do

 

[Casualista]

Not gonna lie, I miss Franck Kessie.

 

[brk]

I'm totally with @brk on this one. We're so going to win CL in the next couple of years with the very exact same core as we're playing today, just a little bit older and more experienced. And all of that without spending 500-900M between card, wages and taxes all five years to kick-start a new cycle. That's basically what Gerrys point is, not being cheap for the sake of it.

If we were to win it now, we'd just be ahead of schedule.

Always team #AheadOfSchedule.

FYI, even if we do win the CL this season this won’t count as my 3-5 year expectation. My point wasn’t that we’d win it, it was that we’d be seen as one of the favorites right from the start. We’re in the QF and they’re giving us 3% chance of winning. That’s not my AC Milan.

 

[Kuroha]

Coz he’s actually got good understanding of the game and good finishing .. it’s just that he wasn’t focusing .. he can just turn it on in a second..

We need him to play for the team and use his limited (but wc) strengths well like physicality pace and dribbling. If he tries to be the hero and take long shots which he sucks at we’re fucked. (would like to know shots taken vs scored % I know it’s gonna be ridiculously bad)

Even though I shit on leao all the time I know he’s still our most important weapon coz no one else in our squad has certain abilities he has. We need him to wanna run into space for his team , take on his man as much as possible and look to provide assists or hockey assists..

I already don't have any expectation on him. I'm in the phase of trying to embrace all of his flaws, so everytime he made dumb moves/silly mistakes, or just choose to dissappear entirely from the game, I'll just "oh sure, he's just like another player", instead of "wtf, didn't he suppossed to be our game-changer superstar???"

 

[Cloren]

I write hand-written letters, and entrust my letter by horse-ridden mail carriers to deliver my comments so that they can be read with a slow panning camera and the background music from a Ken Burns documentary.

Click here for the music in question.

"Dear (friend's name here),

Indications are very strong that we (AC Milan) shall move in a few days, perhaps to-morrow. Lest I should not be able to write you agin, I feel impelled to write a few lines, that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.

Our movement (path to beating your beloved Totten-ham Hot-Spurs) may be of a few days duration and the full pleasure and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine, O God be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battle-field for any club, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly Milan's fortunes now leans upon the triumph of red-and-black stripes, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the banter era, and I am willing, perfectly willing to lay down all my joys in this life to help maintain this club (AC Milan), and to pay that debt.

In short, my dear friend, we have beaten you, and it should have been by far more goals than Providence would allow, yet this is the Wisdom of The Divine. But do not allow the seemingly narrow number of scores delude you into thinking that you were unlucky; nay, you were fortunate that we did not make your defeat far worse, for our superiority was so clear that we did not deign to even worry.

I know I have but few claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me, perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Brahim Diaz, that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear friend, never forget how much I hate you, nor that, when my last breath escapes me on the battle-field, it will whisper 'we have seven Champions Leagues and a better stadium than you.'

Fuck you, Harry Kane sucks, Romero is a bitch, and English food blows.

Warm and Sincere Regards,
I'm better than you."

Yes, this is me butchering one of the most beautiful Civil War letters written from a soldier to his wife, but... what's the point of knowing history if you can't use it in jokes? May God forgive me for this joke, but I figure He has a sense of humor since He also created the platypus.

U wot m8