The Rumour Commode XL: Salat Makers

[Nalim]

SMS is honestly such a pussy. He’s folding up down the stretch and it seems like 80% of the time against Milan he just gets bitched. Maybe it’s expecting too much for him to compete against Kessie and Krunic.

He hasn’t been up to his best this season in general actually.

 

[Hitchens]

If you haven't watched the behind the scenes from the Napoli, unfuck yourself and do.

It's magical.

 

[brk]

Had to check this for myself since it looked wrong. CDK is the 17th most succesful dribbler in Serie A (second highest in Milan). Has the highest success % in the top 20. Kind of throws the 'he's not a dribbler' theory out the window, no?

 

[Raz]

Come on now, just because am chronically online doesn’t mean i look that hideous

View attachment 18307

Whatever you say, Quaasimodo...

 

[brk]

 

[brk]

Then there's this...

At least CDK has a better assists per 90.

 

[Hitchens]

Those big, bulky sneakers from Off-White are so fucking hideous. Makes grown men look like little boys in elementary school.

 

[Susan]

Kjaer has really played his way back into the starting lineup, love seeing him in great form again

I'm not worried about Kalulu and Thiaw, I think they'll get plenty of minutes across competitions, and they'll learn a lot from Kjaer as they grow

so many loveable players in this squad and Simon is a great one

I also love Simon, was very disappointed when Pioli left him out for a while even though he played so well in first leg against Tottenham. Luckily Simon is regularly playing now.
He doesn't have the pace like others, but he's great in everything else, for me our most important defender. It's important that he plays in the CL games.
I'm sorry that Tomori, Kalulu and Thiaw can't always play, but imo we need Simon for the big games. The others still have to learn some things from him.
This is like those years when Nesta was older and slower, but played with T.Silva who was the fast one. They complemented each other, just like it is with Simon and one of our young CB's.

 

[A Wild Homosexual]

Tonali
Theo
Tomori
Krunic
Mike
Alexis are ready for inter.

Tonali is a fantastic player. He was good in the second half.
Krunic is improving as a dm he is becoming a proper asshole on the pitch, just need to improve his long passing

Tomori is very fast very very fast

You forgot Ben who is our best midfielder.

 

[Cloren]

View attachment 18305
Messias after reading this

View attachment 18306

Messias is quite underrated actually. I think he’s somewhat spot on. I don’t expect Messias to start but he can a really great super sub. He was an amazing sub Vs Napoli

 

[A Wild Homosexual]

Let me guess…The refs?

Jk

 

[Susan]

Pioli is killing me. In certain games we dominate and in the rest we look totally clueless and lost. That's definitely on the coach. If only he could prepare the team properly for all games, we'd easily win Scudetto and CL.

 

[A Wild Homosexual]

I dont know what I'm willing to do or give up in order to beat merda in the semis, but whatever it is I would do it. There is no way we can let them pass. Its our home and their pathetic existence has no business there. We must win.

Convert to Islam & pray.
We have an offer of one free first pray for new converters.

 

[Pigeon]

Convert to Islam & pray.
We have an offer of one free first pray for new converters.

 

[Cloren]

Atalanta will beat Juventus today.

I feel it in my bones

That was the feeling I had yesteday as well.

 

[Pingu]

View attachment 18308

Had to check this for myself since it looked wrong. CDK is the 17th most succesful dribbler in Serie A (second highest in Milan). Has the highest success % in the top 20. Kind of throws the 'he's not a dribbler' theory out the window, no?

CDK Dribbling

Expectation:

Reality:

 

[theduck7]

I absolutely hate Inter these days and that infuriating Manager they are so annoying, really thought they’d drop points to Roma-oh well let’s smash them midweek

 

[Il grande Milan]

Pioli is killing me. In certain games we dominate and in the rest we look totally clueless and lost. That's definitely on the coach. If only he could prepare the team properly for all games, we'd easily win Scudetto and CL.

It is more likely to be down to the way the opponent plays than to our own qualities. We often suffer against high pressure (what I fear with City/Real if we manage to get to the CL final... imagine Theo and Tomori trying to dribble their way out of tight situations), and we suffer even more against teams that lie deep and only counter (explains our poor statistics against mediocre clubs). In the latter case, we are obliged to direct the game, to dominate, to be creative offensively, and a lot of these things we have problems with. Against clubs like Lazio, Juve, Inter and so on, we don't need to dominate. The dynamics of such games are totally different which suits us more. Our offensive plan relies almost solely on individual class of Leao/Theo or on good crosses from our wings and hope Giroud heads it in. You will barely see an infiltration through the center, between the lines, or a well organized attack in general based on good passing and pace. A coach that can paralyze our wings, and there are many ways to do that, has more than half of the job done.

 

[Cloren]

CDK Dribbling

Expectation:

Reality:

I loved that you used Banter Era GOAT, Bonaventura as an example.

 

[theduck7]

I’m still holding out hope that Lazio are less likely to last the pace when the heat is on. I think they are the team who are gonna make way

 

[CDarius]

Bennacerinho-Krunicinho-Tonalinho masterclass incoming

 

[Nalim]

Juve under pressure atm

 

[General]

 

[Rossonero81]

Juve looking like shit against Atalanta!

 

[Nalim]

This means he’s out for the season right?

 

[Nalim]

Pasalic missing a sitter

 

[Bringfriends]

Atalanta pls...so many chances wasted :x

 

[Pigeon]

 

[Bringfriends]

 

[Deep Fried Pizza & Chips]

Alexis is surprising me with his development. I had high hopes after 1st covid season but then he lost his mojo now he might be our second best winger and a proper back up for LW or RW.

I've been on the Salad train semi-ironicslly, but I've always been appreciative of his level of quality, what he could be, a great squad player.

He has some skills, he needed to screwvthe head a little, dare I say, simply grow up. He almost has an air of Theo about him attitude wise, both players have grown but still have some shit-housery in them,

He's going nowhere I reckon, for those wanting his sale.