I didn't read half of that, but I find it even more supremely comical when someone anonymous over the interwebs tries to boast as if they know me

Pubes did that, so I guess you both are two peas in a pod.
Also, I am of the mind to prefer the ethereal black of nonexistence, as I was before my parents fucked and to where I will again go when I die. Making a tactless jest on a Milan football forum about death shouldn't stir up such fake sensibilities in you, dear Tshat. Dawn was less aggravated at my trolling than you. Are you secretly his mum and internet protector?
Oh well, I'll still sit here and say as I please and watch as you little children squabble. You just completed graduate school, so I can imagine you having more important things to be attending to than suffering a troll like me. I just finished my exams before my own graduation here soon, so I'mma relax. Maybe you should too, friend?