Official: Zlatan Ibrahimović Thread

[Pipa]

Ibra's dick is so big.

Where's the punch line!!!

 

[Lucia]

Always a dilemma. As much as I don't want him playing in this match considering what his health is, I hope Allegri doesn't use him for the entire 90.

The full 90 could easily extend into 30 min extratime and penalties as well.
Last year when we went out of Coppa Italia against Palermo Zlatan was injured but got subbed in at the end of the match, he turned the game around and scored but there wasn't enough time to find the winner, and Zlatan's injury got worse after that. Allergi was even criticized for resting him, since he had such a game changing sub appearance.

 

[fredrik9]

Always a dilemma. As much as I don't want him playing in this match considering what his health is, I hope Allegri doesn't use him for the entire 90.

That's the problem with Allegri, he doesn't know how to sub Ibra.
In 70+ games for Milan he's been subbed 5 times I think.

 

[CanUNoTouch]

That's the problem with Allegri, he doesn't know how to sub Ibra.
In 70+ games for Milan he's been subbed 5 times I think.

9 but carry on

 

[LimerickMilan]

Hi people. I have a question, would appreciate an answer.

Have we bought King Ibra outright yet, or have we just paid an installment or two on him?

 

[nekky]

Hi people. I have a question, would appreciate an answer.

Have we bought King Ibra outright yet, or have we just paid an installment or two on him?

think we have just paid one out of 3. We paid barca 8M last summer and we bought him for 24 M.

 

[Trillske]

He was sick last game and played anyway. He has looked exhausted the two last games. REST HIM ALREADY. This is crazy... He will be good for 30 minutes against Barcelona.

Ibras dick is so big, he could be getting a blowjob in Turin while he is in Milan.

Ibras dick is so big it points him in the back when he gets an erection.

 

[fredrik9]

9 but carry on

5 times. Maybe you look at the games he hasn't played 90 min, but those include the ones when he's been sent off with a red, and the ones he's been subbed on.

Carry on.

 

[Pipa]

Ibras dick is so big it points him in the back when he gets an erection.

Ibras dick so big, Godzilla plays on it as a slide.

 

[Your Sister]

Last year when we went out of Coppa Italia against Palermo Zlatan was injured but got subbed in at the end of the match, he turned the game around and scored but there wasn't enough time to find the winner, and Zlatan's injury got worse after that. Allergi was even criticized for resting him, since he had such a game changing sub appearance.

That's the problem with Allegri, he doesn't know how to sub Ibra.
In 70+ games for Milan he's been subbed 5 times I think.

It's a Catch-22 for Allegri. Rest him and face criticism for not using him. Don't rest him and face criticism for using him.

Ibra's dick is so big.

Where's the punch line!!!

Ibra's dick is so big it doesn't need a punchline.

 

[Pipa]

Ibra's dick is so big it doesn't need a punchline.

Ibras dick so big, audience wait the entire show for the punchline.

 

[MilanMB]

it's a catch-22 for allegri. Rest him and face criticism for not using him. Don't rest him and face criticism for using him.

+1

 

[Jasper]

First half hat-trick and then rest on the bench. :lightbulb:

 

[fredrik9]

+1

No, no, it is 22. It's a phrase.

 

[adriancg]

Why was he subbed? He's ok right? *nervous laugh*

 

[Your Sister]

Why was he subbed? He's ok right? *nervous laugh*

He entered the match with a high temperature stemming from the severe cold/fever he's been battling since the weekend. Precautionary more than anything.

 

[milanpalermo23]

.

 

[LoLInter]

Shouldn't even have been put on tonight tbh. Being sick it was real easy to tell that he was a bit off his game.

 

[damn]

reports in italy are suggesting ibra had contracted "chiellini fever" a common condition that has blighted ibra's time in italy, luckily zlatan seems to only contract this debilitating illness 2-4 times a year.

symptoms of "chiellini fever" include
acute incontinence
laziness
inability to think clearly
facial Tourette syndrome
a severe shrinking of the penis
the disappearance of the testicles

thankfully the "chiellini fever" only lasts a day or so.

 

[Pipa]

reports in italy are suggesting ibra had contracted "chiellini fever" a common condition that has blighted ibra's time in italy, luckily zlatan seems to only contract this debilitating illness 2-4 times a year.

symptoms of "chiellini fever" include
acute incontinence
laziness
inability to think clearly
facial Tourette syndrome
a severe shrinking of the penis
the disappearance of the testicles

thankfully the "chiellini fever" only lasts a day or so.

No more "Ibras dick so big.." jokes?

 

[Goodfella]

C&P from the Maxi Lopez thread

"Ibra should learn from him. Playing the way you do against Chievo doesn't work as successful against Juve, Inter, Tottenham when they sit back. Maxi's non-stop pressing, meeting the pass, running for the ball and playing like a real CF was obviously more effective than Ibra's occasional, half-assed pressing, dropping deep to act like a deep-lying playmaker, slowing down every counter just to make sure he's directing our attacks, not meeting the passes because it might go through the player(s). Ibra's game makes every above average defenses look world class(Tottenham, Ranierinter, Ranieroma, Juve).

Yes, Ibra was sick today, but this is something that's been obvious for some time now."




It's definitely not a coincidence we've been playing much better without Ibra against Juve and it doesn't have to do with Chiellini being anti-Ibra. Replace him with any other above average, tall and strong defender like Dawson or Samuel and it would be the same.

This isn't Ibra-hate, just something that's been bothering me about Ibra because I really want him to start performing consistently in big games instead of only against shitty defenses that give him lots of time and space.

 

[Lucia]

vvv Sod-Lod did it better vvv

 

[Sod-Lod]

That's why Ibra came out in the range ... 20/03/2012

Not only flu and slight fever for Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

The causes for the exit at half-time are not only seasonal ailments. According to the reports sent to Turin to Milan Channel, the Swede would have some back problem.
The news is sketchy, but what is known is that 11 Rossoneri have suffered from this problem since yesterday.

 

[nekky]

give him a fucking break, he has been playing with flu and fever

 

[Goodfella]

give him a fucking break, he has been playing with flu and fever

Didn't look that much different to his other Juve performances this season though.

 

[Trillske]

Goodfella ect.
From our point of view, pure randomness could have him perform 3-4 straight games against Juventus, while failing to perform 3-4 straight games against Arsenal. If you sit back and try to analyze where that scenario would leave you, I hope you learned something new today.

 

[Goldfinger68]

C&P from the Maxi Lopez thread
"Ibra should learn from him. Playing the way you do against Chievo doesn't work as successful against Juve, Inter, Tottenham when they sit back. Maxi's non-stop pressing, meeting the pass, running for the ball and playing like a real CF was obviously more effective than Ibra's occasional, half-assed pressing, dropping deep to act like a deep-lying playmaker, slowing down every counter just to make sure he's directing our attacks, not meeting the passes because it might go through the player(s). Ibra's game makes every above average defenses look world class(Tottenham, Ranierinter, Ranieroma, Juve).

Yes, Ibra was sick today, but this is something that's been obvious for some time now."

Im really really sorry to say this, but i consider this as crap. I shouldnt need to answer this but okey,

You cant compare this two strikers, that if you know enough about them two and who ibra is today. He has never been that kind of a player and will never be. Ibra is not a clean CF, he is a mix, if you have that kind of a player, you have to use all his best abilities. Just deal with it when he preforms like he have done. Act like a playmaker? he is a fucking playmaker. And you base your stats of effectivness less then total 4 games. I dont even need to show you stats of how effective Ibra has been this season, i bet you know them. Why dont you name other big games like Arsenal, barcelona, merda to name a few?

You see it as he is slowing down the game, not preforming in big games. I see it that he has made alot of assists, he have scored the most. And preformed almost in every single big game this season including CL. He has been the one producing, and there is a reason that Maxi has not even been the choice over Pharao. I dont want to take his good game away, but you are not the manager and are not there in every training. As i also see it, Maxi has 100% more pressure to prove anything, and its obvious that he is killing him self to really do well and convince allegri. I call it fighting spirit, and that usually motivate players and make them preform better. And i like Maxi for that.

Ibra has just a different style, and you should by now understand that he has won the league every year, that is something that Maxi would never do.

He dont slow down the game, he produce. He was sick today, and just cause Maxi had a good game, you dont have to compare him to a sick Ibra the first thing you do. They are on two different planets.

And i dont consider your post as hating, i just consider it stupid analyzes, sorry man!

 

[acerвιc wιт]

Apparently, Ibrahimovic came off because he had a sore back. I suppose carrying Milan on his shoulders is finally taking its toll!

 

[Goodfella]

Goodfella ect.
From our point of view, pure randomness could have him perform 3-4 straight games against Juventus, while failing to perform 3-4 straight games against Arsenal. If you sit back and try to analyze where that scenario would leave you, I hope you learned something new today.

You're obviously butthurt and would defend Ibra no matter what.

You don't notice us playing a lot faster without Ibra against Juve? Forcing Juve to leave a lot more space? Giving us more counter opportunities? Making more counterattacks? Faster counterattacks?

This was the case for Sweden against Netherlands too.

With Ibra we look slow and out of ideas when big teams sit back, esp when they try to defend a lead. This has been the case many times(Inter, Tottenham, Juve, Roma)

This is the reason Ibra is considered a big game flop.

 

[Goodfella]

Im really really sorry to say this, but i consider this as crap. You cant compare this two strikers, that if you know enough about them two and who ibra is today. He has never been that kind of a player and will never be. Ibra is not a clean CF, he is a mix. Just deal with it when he preforms like he have done. Act like a playmaker? he is a fucking playmaker. And you base your stats of effectivness less then total 4 games. I dont even need to show you stats of how effective Ibra has been this season, i bet you know them. Why dont you name other big games like Arsenal, barcelona, merda to name a few?

You see it as he is slowing down the game, not preforming in big games. I see it that he has made alot of assists, he have scored the most. And preformed almost in every single big game this season including CL. He has been the one producing, and there is a reason that Maxi has not even been the choice over Pharao. I dont want to take his good game away, but you are not the manager and are not there in every training.

Ibra has just a different style, and you should by now understand that he has won the league every year, that is something that Maxi would never do.

He dont slow down the game, he produce. He was sick today, and just cause Maxi had a good game, you dont have to compare him to a sick Ibra the first thing you do. They are on two different planets.

And i dont consider your post as hating, i just consider it stupid analyzes, sorry man!

You're making a lot of irrelevant points and misunderstanding my main point. Horrible post.

Maxi and Ibra obviously have different styles, which I even mentioned, but I am hoping that Ibra can change his style for this type of games since his current methods aren't effective.

Ibra is obviously much more talented than Maxi and you can't find a player who can destroy the majority of the Serie A teams with such ease and consistency.

But, as it looks, we're flat-track bullies with Ibra. We can win 20 games in a row against teams like Parma, Lecce and even current Roma(because of their shitty defense), but we're not nearly as good against top teams. In fact, we don't even win 1/3 of them.